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Superstars TONIGHT!

I’ll dispense with the woo-woo hoo-haw for a while… time for some beads!
Here’s a look at what’s coming up tonight:

 

click on us to get to the superstars page!

click on us to get to the superstars page!

Be at www.z-beads.com this Thursday, July 30th
Click on the SUPERSTARS link at the lower left side of the front page (or click on the photo above)
7:30PM – 8PM Central Time: 30 minute sale preview. Take this time to look at the photos, read the descriptions and decide what you want.
8PM Central Time and beyond – send in those requests!

THERE WILL BE 11 selections this evening (all of the above plus a ring and a necklace).

I hope to see you there!

grasshopperswarm

massive swarm of grasshoppers and beetles headed to Oklahoma – click to read the article at KFOR.com

Was it you? Or YOU? Who was it!?

I like bugs. I really do. Granted, I don’t want them in my hair or in my food or on the underside of the toilet seat ready to bite my nethers when I take a leak in the middle of the night. But they’re pretty nifty little things and if I can study one up close, I take the opportunity. They seem to like me, too. The moment I step outside on a summer night, ALL the bugs come flying at my head. They never bother with anyone else. It must be my brilliant personality. Har. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I never fail to shriek and run and wave my arms around my head. Just the other night as I was walking out of the grocery store, something really big zoomed right at me the second the automatic door slid open, as if it had been waiting for me. It hit me hard in the chest and landed on the ground. It was a giant bright green grasshopper. It could have picked anyone else to dive-bomb, including my husband, but no. And anything that flies slowly by and may or may not have the potential to sting me? Well, you’re likely to have your own coffee spilled on you as I cringe and scoot out of the way. And now we have a whole swarm of grasshoppers AND beetles coming for me, I mean, us. Grand.

My favorite insects are beetles. I don’t care if they fly at my head or roll dung or kill my garden. I love ’em. They have a dopey sweetness about them, especially the big clumsy ones. I have a strong affection for click bugs and my very favorites are the metallic green scarabs. Whenever I find one I bring it home with me, even if it’s dead. I found one on a walk recently. Here he (or she) is:

Oh, the things I find on my walks... and bring home!

Oh, the things I find on my walks… and bring home!

I have another one around here somewhere that I’ve had since high school. It has stayed in pretty good shape all this time.

Not too long ago, I said I didn’t feel badly about killing hundreds of ants, actually probably thousands of ants. I was very angry with them at the time. I really do feel awful about it. They’re obnoxious but they have as much right to be here as I do. I’d like to be able to convince them that they don’t need to come into my house, but they’re ants after all. When I found Mom’s copy of “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews, I saw it was open to spider. I wondered if there was anything about ants in there, and sure enough. Coincidentally or not, I’ve only seen about 30 ants in my kitchen since reading that, and that was well over a month ago, probably closer to two months. Almost like magic.

animalspeak

Here are some interesting excerpts from “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews:

ANT
KEYNOTE – industriousness, order and discipline
 – “If the ant has shown up as a totem, examine your own industriousness. Are you disciplining yourself enough to accomplish the tasks at hand? Are you or those around you looking for the quick and easy way? Are you neglecting important activities? Are you laying a good foundation? Are you adding new structures to your life with each passing year in some fashion – education, jobs hobbies, etc.? Are you being patient with your efforts? Are you being patient with yourself? With others? Are you making things greater and more difficult than they need to be? Are you missing an opportunity to initiate new creations and endeavors? Ant can teach you how to harness your own power to design and recreate your life and its circumstances from the ground up.  Ant can show you how best to work with others for the good of everyone. Ant teaches us that regardless of circumstances, if the effort is true the rewards will follow – in the most beneficial time and manner. Ant is the promise of success through effort.”

BEETLE:
KEYNOTE: resurrection
– “The beetle is the most varied of all insects. There may be as many as 280,000 different kinds of beetles. To put this into perspective, the number of vertebrate animals – including fish, reptiles, amphibians, birds, and mammals – may be around 44,000.

In Egypt, the scarab, or sacred beetle, had great significance. The beetle would take a piece of ox dung and shape it into a ball by rolling it from east to west. The eggs were laid within this and then buried. After about a month, the beetle would dig it up and push it into the water and the young would emerge. Because of its east to west rolling, it came to be associated with the sun and its movement across the sky. The scarab thus came to be a symbol for solar deities and for new life.

As with many insects, the beetle goes through a tremendous metamorphosis from the grub state to the winged. Because of this, it is associated with resurrection and change. In its winged stage, the front set of wings are thickened into hard covers which fold and protect the soft underside. This may indicate for those with this totem to be more protective, or possibly that you are too closed off.

If the beetle has shown up in your life examine the need for metamorphosis. Are you in the process? If so, what stage? Do you need a change? Are you needing new sunshine? Is it time to resurrect some aspect of your life? Is it time to leave the past behind? The beetle can show you how to do this with the greatest success.”

—————–

I love this approach. Good questions. The right questions must be asked, or asked in just the right way, before we can begin to consider how to solve our own unique problems. Sometimes there are only more questions, but at least we’re getting somewhere – or somewhere else – right?

So, the beetle, and the mention of being too closed off… If you’ve been with me for a while, you know the last few years have been pretty rough for me. I’ve lost a lot of my people, I lost life as I knew it – and through the process of several of those losses, I came to realize that I didn’t know these people or situations as well as I thought I did.  Not necessarily because they were hiding anything from me (although, that was sometimes the case) but because I didn’t want to look too closely. I feel like people should have their privacy to be as wacky as they need to be to feel okay about being alive, so I tend to look at people through a filter, of sorts. I guess that’s what I get for being raised by a bunch of weirdos. My family has them all: bookworms, conspiracy theorists, artists, scientists, perfectionists, cause-havers, crystal wavers, hoarders, gamblers, cock-eyed optimists… so I guess I came by my live and let live attitude pretty honestly. Problem is, these people were willing, even trying, to tell me these things all along that I thought were being hidden from me. I was just too wrapped up in my own problems and idealisms to get the subtle hints. These discoveries rattled me so hard that it took me quite a while to understand what happened.

dad

dad

I finally had to admit to myself that this was my problem, not theirs. So I made a very conscious decision to look more closely at people, at life, at myself. I had to accept that I’m not always going to like what I see, but knowledge is power and all that rot. Hiding from people and new experiences, and most importantly, the truth, isn’t going to accomplish much. Looking back over the last couple of years, the results of my (then) new resolve have been fairly noticeable, even if only to me. I feel a little bit more happy, a little bit less stuck inside my own head, a little bit more at ease around other people. I’ve purposely yanked myself out of my comfort zone at least a few times and it hasn’t been so bad.

But all of that having been said, I still get a big thrill when people just come right out and tell me stuff. It’s easier that way. And we can talk about the ants later…

—————

OH! And don’t let me forget to tell you: SUPERSTARS THIS THURSDAY! Here’s what’s happening:

Be at www.z-beads.com this Thursday, July 30th
Click on the SUPERSTARS link at the lower left side of the front page
7:30PM – 8PM Central Time: 30 minute sale preview. Take this time to look at the photos, read the descriptions and decide what you want.
8PM Central Time and beyond – send in those requests!

I’ll post a sneak peek of the goods here before the sale.
Thanks for reading!

dad's self portrait, 1964

dad’s self portrait, 1964

My mother found a folded piece of paper in a stack of papers at her house. She couldn’t figure out where it came from. It reads:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.

And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor, how valuable it is; nor, how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased…

There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille”

We have no idea who Martha Graham and Agnes DeMille are. But as folks who are sensitive to the people, the happenings, the messages that have come to us throughout our lives, we believe that it is important to have the experiences and learn the lessons these people, happenings and messages can teach us. There are no accidents, including the timing of when this piece of paper showed up in my mother’s life, and then mine. I think the message from Martha to Agnes can be taken any number of ways. Use this message any way you can, wherever it fits.

In my case, I didn’t think of myself as a spiritual person for a long time. I believed myself to be atheist (or something close to it) since I was very young. Catholic school was difficult for me. Being commanded to worship, without question, a specific entity whom I could neither see nor hear, or even sense, never sat right with me. I felt alone and misunderstood. However, I’ve recently admitted to myself that I can feel something, and I feel it deeply. My ability to sense the energies of other people; the oppression, the angst, the sadness I sometimes feel when I leave the safety of my nest can be debilitating. But it can also be energizing… profound, even.

Instead of being frightened by what I find hanging in the air, good, bad or inexplicable, I must embrace it and examine it as closely as possible so that the motivations of others (and my own) can come into sharper focus. Staying open, even if it means enduring the inherent flaws of humanity, is extraordinarily important – otherwise, I could miss the beauty. I could miss getting to know myself. The feelings, beliefs and experiences that each human possesses and shares with the rest of the world are far too complex to be labeled as “christian” or “atheist” or “whatever”. Spirituality is too immense and obscure to be fought over, yet we fight and kill over it daily, and nobody wins. To me, the answer is obvious: we could simply worship every other living being on this rock, including the ones who look and believe differently than us. If we’re all god, we all win.

Etsy!

ACK! Here they are. Sorry so late. Please don’t hate me. My nightcrawler ass needs to find a way to take photos at night and make them look like they were taken during the day. While I’m at it, maybe I’ll find a way to play basketball in the rain and not get wet.

Click HERE to get to my Etsy shop, or the thumbnails below for each item.

Bluejay Review:
bluejayetsygal

Scarabesque !BLING! Barrel:
scarabblingetsygal

Black Magic:
blackmagicetsygal

Tomato Patch !BLING! Rock Candy:
tomatocandyetsygal

Retro Gold !BLING!:
retrogoldetsygal

Ruby Bluesday Spike Pendant:
blueredstaretsygal

————————–

Well, that’s that. I need to soak in the tub for a while and contemplate this month’s schedule and color combinations. Maybe I’ll be able to fit in a little bit of metal before the next Superstars sale, which is tentatively planned for the end of the month. So no beads between now and then, unless I get really energetic. But it’s summer after all… what I’d really like to do is crawl into a refrigerator full of kittens and corn dogs and not come out until October. Wanna join me? I’ll shove over and make room.

Thanks once again for your patience. Toodles!

How about some idle chit-chat to keep you amused while I’m slapping my Etsy listings together?

Many people say they enjoy all kinds of music. Usually, that means they like AC/DC and Elton John, so I shy away from prattling on about my penchant for the offbeat and downright weird unless I’m certain I’m in good company. Today I’ll make an exception, and perhaps you’ll find something new to listen to.

Anyway, the story in my family is that when I was still in diapers, I’d pitch a major fit if I was not allowed to listen to Pink Floyd’s The Wall in its entirety. The rule was not to play record 1 if you’re not going to play record 2. I clearly remember studying the cover art on mom’s living room floor and feeling sad and creeped out all at once, as was Mr. Floyd’s goal I’m sure. I was either permanently burned out on The Wall by the time I was 3, or I find it even more disturbing as an adult. Whatever the reason, I have no desire to listen to that album any more.

 

Rx - Bedside Toxicology (1998)

Rx: Bedside Toxicology (1998)

Rx: Bedside Toxicology (1998)
Many of you have figured out by now that I’m not all sweetness and light. I like my music like I like my art (and men, for that matter): dark, quirky, and with a sense of humor. This album features a deliciously ghoulish cover of Petula Clark’s “Downtown.” I think what I enjoy most is the use of both analog (real drums, acoustic guitars, et al) and digital stuff. Yeah, it’s a little bit creepy, but it’s also a little bit funny, and I’m quite convinced it’s all tongue-in-cheek and purely for shock value. (And really, nothing on this album is as gory or scary as what I’m bound to see when I turn on my TV.) Rx is some guys from Skinny Puppy and they had originally named this project Ritalin, but of course, they had to change it to Rx for legal reasons. So, you know, nobody could confuse the CD for a bottle of Ritalin. Just a guess.

 

The Delta 72: The Soul Of A New Machine

The Delta 72: The Soul Of A New Machine (1997)

The Delta 72: The Soul Of A New Machine (1997)
This here is a flawless amalgam of blues+punk+funk+maybe a hint of shoegaze, replete with horns, belchy guitars, clavinet and Rhodes piano, and a twinkly vibraphone. If you like Jon Spencer’s Blues Explosion but could stand to have the insecure chest thumping checked at the door now and again, you would probably like this.

 

Unknown Mortal Orchestra: (self titled) (2011)

Unknown Mortal Orchestra: (self titled) (2011)

Unknown Mortal Orchestra: self titled, 2011
Amateurish, catchy indie rock packed full of phasers, wah-wahs and scratchy vocals filtered through a whispery echo reminiscent of AM radio. That probably sounded like an insult, but it’s actually really, really good.

Thanks for the photos of the cover art, Amazon. These selections can be found on Amazon and Google Play.

 

I’m pretty sure I saw Beck driving on I-44 a couple of days before his concert here in 1997. I figured that out when I watched his Devil’s Haircut video for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t realize it was him at the time, I just knew I saw an electric looking guy driving a slick classic Chevy or Oldsmobile from the 1960’s in rust orange or mustard yellow. He was so California, there was no way he was from around here. He was wearing a button down shirt with a large collar, a scarf around his neck, his golden blond hair swept to the side, and had a rather slight frame… he looked straight out of a 1960’s magazine. If I were stalkerish I totally would have followed him to see where he went. Poor guy. Some beer soaked trollop threw her panties into his face at the show, and he’s never been back to OKC as far as I know.

———————

Perfume, as usual.

Halston Woman Amber

Halston Woman Amber

Woman Amber has an olibanum note, something I’ve been unfamiliar with so far. I’m still not so adept at picking out the individual notes in a fragrance; I continue to be satisfied with enjoying the whole rather than scrutinizing its parts. Except when there’s tuberose. Tuberose is fine, generally, if it’s used properly. This is entirely subjective, of course – in my opinion, the most noteworthy misuse of tuberose was by Calvin Klein in Secret Obsession. Um, blech. The inclusion of tuberose in Woman Amber along with the woody and smoky notes might have prevented me from purchasing it unsniffed… save for the fact that I had recently sampled Bond No. 9’s Chinatown, which has a bang of tuberose along with dry spicy cardamom and incense notes, and I really enjoyed it. So, my point is, finally, that Halston Amber is a not-too-sweet, dry, powdery and oddly fresh and slightly smoky concoction that is unlikely to make any waves. I do enjoy it, though.

 

S.T. Dupont Oud Oriental

S.T. Dupont Oud Oriental

I got this for about $100 less than what it normally sells for, and what a treat. I think it might be difficult to come by in the states, which would explain its high price tag on most sites. I got lucky on fragrancenet one day and managed to snag the very last one for around $25. It bears much resemblance to (and is much more bearable than) bond number 9’s oud offerings. Bond’s ouds take on a very strong beef stew’y aura around the wood and flowers, and it’s quite persistent until the whole affair vanishes altogether in just a couple of hours. Oud Oriental does begin with that uniquely pungent wood and rose, but manages not to trek off into umami territory. Instead, it veers off into cedar and lit incense, which makes me about as glad as a bagworm at high mass. Yep, that’s what I said. And it lasts more than a couple of hours.

Thanks to Fragrantica for the photos.

————————————————-

I finished the Orange Rainbow necklace. I rarely complete a piece in such a timely manner – especially a wire-wrapped one – so I’m really proud of that. I won’t be putting it on Etsy tonight, I’ll probably save it for the Superstars sale. Unless someone wants to buy it sooner and save me the effort of putting it into web sale format… don’t be shy if you’re interested. The price is $275. It’s one of a kind, all sterling with glass, carnelian, coral and jade. The sterling beaded chain is 18 inches long, and the dangly part extends about an inch lower than that. If you want more info, email me any time.

orange rainbow necklace - glass, sterling, carnelian, jade and coral

orange rainbow necklace – glass, sterling, carnelian, jade and coral

————————————————-
So! Here’s what’s on tap for Etsy this evening:

z-beads, week of july 6 2015

z-beads, week of july 6 2015

Thanks for reading… beads on the way later this evening! I’ll post here again when the listings are live.

Are we having a weird dream? Are we listening to a Flaming Lips album? Or have I been working with silver?

sterling and glass pendants, z-beads july 2015

sterling and glass pendants, z-beads july 2015

estrellaall

glass, stone and sterling rings, z-beads july 2015

Ding-ding-ding!

I tried a couple of new things during this latest metal event: White-Out and paste solder. I like doing things the simple, traditional way – a few examples of this would be using straight boric acid powder for flux, sheet solder for soldering, pickling in a vinegar/salt solution and using yellow ocher as flow-stop for my solder. There must be hundreds of products for every task, all purporting to make your metalsmithing experience so smooth and thrilling you’d swear you were driving an un-Americanized 2015 BMW sedan on the Autobahn. I’m happy to settle for the Corolla S on I-35 approach.

The white-out was suggested by my friend Kathy, who uses it instead of yellow ocher for flow stop. Yellow ocher is a colossal pain in the ass. It’s a very fine, dense powder that you mix with water or alcohol and paint onto your already soldered joints so that the solder doesn’t flow on future heatings. When exposed to heat it turns a dusty crimson red and appears to increase in density because when I go to wash it off, there seems to be much more of it than I had put on there to begin with. It murks up the quench water and the pickle.  It takes on a life of its own and gets all over everything, including things I went nowhere near. White-out, however, is much easier to apply, it dries more quickly and it sort of flakes off rather than staining my entire life when I scrub it off. The only drawback is that it catches fire and makes a weird smell. I may use it again, I may not, but for a quick fix it’s fine. I’m glad I tried it. I think it was 98 cents, so no big investment there.

As for the paste solder, I needed to make a repair and the paste was the best solution. It’s very easy to use. It worked great for the repair, and I like it for soldering jump rings and for those little details such as silver balls and tiny pre-made bezel cups. Like this:

orangerainbow4

happy rainbow in orange, z-beads july 2015

Yes, this is a new design! But not a new idea. This poor coldworked disk has been in my life for several years, and when I got into working with silver, I had the idea to set it this way. This disk was intended to be sold with something else, but it broke in half when I was grinding it on the lapidary machine.* I tossed it into the funky cup (I never throw this sort of thing into the trash) and forgot about it for a while. Then I had this idea, so I pulled it out and finished off the bottom of each side and stuck it into my cabochon box for several more years until I finally made the time to make a setting for it. The little amber stones on top were an afterthought – I was just about to set the rainbow and be done when I had that idea, and I’m glad I gave it those few extra minutes of attention. I’m currently making this into a necklace and it will be available for purchase soon.

happy rainbow in orange, z-beads july 2015

happy rainbow in orange, z-beads july 2015

*The reason this disk broke in half is the core of Effetre 416 Acid Yellow. Lampworkers, those awesome big sparkly flakes you see in the molten glob of that neon yellow-turned-glowing-orange are the precursor to such disasters. I’m not sure if it’s of the incompatibility or if it’s of the thermal variety of crackage, but either way, 416 (actually, nearly everything between 416 and 422) has displayed a very pointed dislike for having anything surrounding it or squished deep into it. Oddly enough, when this bead broke in half, the 416 part was matte, rather than glossy as glass normally is where it shatters. But no worries with this pendant, it has long since relieved itself of the stress that caused it to break in the first place. Lemons/lemonade and all that rot.

Oh, and check these out – first, the green polka dot with shades of green glass and dichro, topped with a tall chrysoprase cabochon:

green polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

green polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

greenpolka2

green polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

greenpolka3

green polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

The red polka dot has shades of red, orange, yellow and amber dichro and is topped with a vintage cranberry foil glass cabochon:

redpolka2

red polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

redpolka

red polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

red polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

red polka dot spike pendant, z-beads, july 2015

The addition of the polka dots was a lofty experiment – every time I curved those polka dot covered bezels into place without them popping off, I was sure I must have made a deal with the devil and had no recollection of it.

And here’s this one – I made the top cabochon to go with the bottom part:

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

poppy lavender faceted spike, z-beads, july 2015

The only bad news is, these three spikes are already sold, and the three rings were made special for my stylist. Both the yellow spike (and the set it was made to go with) and the blue+purple spike in the first picture will end up on Etsy or Superstars very soon. But keep cool, I’ll be working with metals again around this time next month and there will be more spikes, hopefully more rainbows and maybe a ring or two.

The plan for this week is to put some stuff into my Etsy shop on Thursday, go to the local bead show on Friday and work hard all month on orders and a Superstars sale. Any made to order requests? Let me know!

Thanks for reading, more later this week…

Etsy!

Yes, finally, at 5AM, I’m getting my Etsy listings online. This is how it goes sometimes.

Click HERE to get to my shop, or the thumbnails below for each item.

Tiny Bubbles:

tinybubblesetsygal

Campy Relish Hana:
campyrelishhanaetsygal

Tunisian Violet Lava Lite Trios & Tabs:
tunisianvioletlavaetsygal

Rhodochrosite Glimmer Strips:
rhodoglimmeretsygal

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So, as soon as the rain left, summer didn’t waste any time. I was supposed to start working on metals about two weeks ago, but I decided I needed to make some glass stuff for my metals first, and then I realized I needed to make some beads so I’d have some hope of having a little cash while I worked on the metal stuff. At some point during all of that, it got kind of hot and humid and then I got all hot and humid and when I get that way it takes me a while to get stuff done in between the whining about how hot it is. I hate summer. I shall list for you only 10 of the reasons I hate summer:

1. The sun.
2. Everything. Even my irrational dislike of John Corbett becomes more acute.
3. The air conditioner.
4. The sound the air conditioner makes.
5. The electric bill.
6. The sun.
7. The lawnmower draggers ding-donging my doorbell the minute the clover patch grows a centimeter taller than the rest of the lawn.
8. The ghetto birds.
9. The ice cream truck.
10. Everything on TV is a rerun or a singing contest. I guess they think we’re all outside in the sun catching our death and we won’t care what’s on TV when we’re being hauled off to the hospital for heat exhaustion.

I want to be comfortable all the time. Somewhere between 40 and 75 degrees Fahrenheit would be most conducive to my physical comfort and emotional well being. I guess I’ll have to cave and write a letter to my congressman. Meanwhile, I’ll get used to the summer and when fall finally gets here I’ll be shivering in my bed under the covers the first day the high temp doesn’t go above 70 degrees.

Thanks for looking at the new beads… next, I’ll be blinging a bit and working on metals! Hooray, I’m looking forward to something a bit different for a little while. Any special requests? Feel free to ask!

…named Felix The Conqueror? Yeah? Well, we found him mewing desperately by the side of the street.”

My hunny and I were taking a walk after midnight the other night. We heard a “meow?” off in the shadows and saw a pair of glowing eyes. We said “hi? and a little black cat came running towards us. He was obviously friendly – rare for a cat – and let us pet him. We always stop to say hello to a friendly cat. We resumed our walk, and surprisingly he came along and was telling us all kinds of interesting things. He continued to follow us and chat us up for the entire block, and that’s when we decided to have a look at his collar. It said “Felix The Conqueror” on one side and had an address/phone number/smiley face on the other. The address was from sort of far away, and we figured if our cat was missing, we wouldn’t mind a call after midnight.

Mr. Sarah picked Felix up and carried him for about a block because he seemed a bit tired and was panting. When we got to a good resting spot he called the number on his tag. I could tell the guy on the other end of the phone didn’t mind being called, but I couldn’t tell much else. Mr. Sarah said he sounded relieved; Felix had been gone for 4 days. The guy said he was at a restaurant nearby and would be by soon. Felix waited patiently with us. When he got there, Felix began to squirm with excitement. He told us he had started looking at the animal shelter for poor Felix earlier that day. He had just moved to the area, and perhaps Felix just got lost. He’s very friendly and probably followed someone interesting into our neighborhood. We were so pleased that Felix had a tag and that we could help him get home. People, if your cats are allowed to roam, please be sure they have identification!

———-

The rain and ants have subsided and I’ve been able to get some work done. I’ll be listing some things on Etsy later, it may be well after midnight before they’re live. Here’s a look at what’s coming up:
weekofjune8

Look for another update later tonight!

Skglarg, Part 2.

My house is a freaking ant farm. It won’t stop raining. Spawn came for a visit, bearing gifts of lame excuses and a nasty cold, which she bestowed upon me and Mr. Sarah as she greeted us with a loud, rattling cough. It would be really great if people would understand that those of us who work for ourselves don’t have paid sick days and could be kind enough to stay away while contagious. The bratty calico literally went on hunger strike and screamed at us for two days straight until we bought her a chicken. Our basement has flooded numerous times. I saw a shirtless ponytailed ginger riding in the trunk of a VW Passat, dragging a lawn mower behind him, and he and the passengers went knocking on doors to kindly offer their lawn mowing/home invasion services… um, no, for so many reasons. And frickety fracking ding-dang old $_(%&&%(#&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, that’s better. This is my owl collection.

owls

I’ve been on Ant Patrol for the past several days. I carry a flashlight around the house and shine it angrily into the shadows every few hours like a testosterone poisoned security guard. Everyone is whining on the local news about ants in their houses because of the record flooding, and at my house, the ant sitch is only moderately worse than it usually is this time of year. We spray ant barrier in the spring and only have to do it once or twice more until fall, but too much rain will wash it away, so there’s just no point right now. I cannot have ants in my house. If I see ONE ant, I go into major wipe-down mode. Guests fortunate enough to be at my house during one of these Fantastic Ant Wipes look at me like I’m nuts. Obviously, they’ve never had ants repeatedly invade their pantry in the night and take up residence in their raisins and powdered sugar. About a week ago, those wretched little varmints got into a tightly lidded bottle of homemade Kahlua by walking between the threads. I thought I was going to die of acute annoyance at that, but thankfully, I survived. What nearly killed me was the troop that came all the way in from outside, just to procure a Pringle crumb the size of a head of a straight pin, and it was in the middle of my bedroom floor, nowhere near the outside wall.

Yesterday, I awoke abruptly after a half-awake dream about ants in my Lucky Charms on top of the fridge. I went to look, and sure enough. They were also all over the wall next to the refrigerator, and if it had been left any longer the ant count would have grown to incomprehensible numbers. Mr. Sarah said that I need to start playing the lottery, with such specific visions like that. In my half asleep stupor I was still able to instantly fly into guilt-free ALL ANTS MUST DIE mode with my pine-sol/vinegar spray. I hate them. I hate them so much. I want them all to die. All other insects are free to live, even those awful fuzzy black spiders with bright green eyes who put their front legs up, ready to skittle with you when they see you coming. Those little angels get captured in a jar and deposited outdoors. Why? Because they wouldn’t bring a thousand of their creepy friends over to my house for Lucky Charms uninvited, that’s why. I’m sure we can find someone more respectful of boundaries to take over whatever benefits these dastardly ants provide our mother earth. I’d even pitch in by chewing on a rotting tree limb for a couple of hours every year if it will help move things in that direction. And it’s starting to rain, again. Thank goodness they’ve mostly stayed out of the bead cave.

bench

In other news, I was one of those sub-morons who got caught up in a flash flood on Saturday. I was sure I’d have time to get to the BBQ joint, get the fried okra and get home before it started pouring. Nope. The moment I got there it began to pour. I get inside the restaurant and find the scrolling message at the bottom of the TV screen – flash flood warnings for blah-blah counties until THURSDAY. Remember, this was SATURDAY. I picked my jaw up off the floor, got my okra and got into the car. I was moving along fine, even in the river of really hard rain. I only got about 4 blocks towards home when I got an urgent call from the Department of Common Sense, instructing me to get out of the street and find higher ground, like, NOW. I pulled into a closed gas station, the one I always make fun of for having only one pump and being about a dollar per gallon higher than any other station in OKC, and parked beneath the awning.

I had a clear view of the street and rising water, and after about 5 minutes another car pulled into the station. Stalled cars began to accumulate in the street at an alarming rate. The passenger of the other car under the awning poked her professional shoplifter looking self out of the sun roof and began “filming” a stranded motorist in the street with her bright pink phone and clunky fake nails, all the while giggling gleefully and shouting something at him. Probably to pose like a rockstar and then come over and sign a release form for when her crappy rainsoaked video goes viral. He was knee-deep in rushing water and was being pelted by rain as he pushed his stalled car backwards, unable to understand her over the gushing roar. I felt like telling her to pull off her fake eyelashes and her stupid Justin Beiber looking hat and go help that poor guy instead of practically creaming herself over his misfortune. I decided in the spirit of kindness and self-preservation, I’d probably better not. About 10 more minutes passed and I watched the water level decrease and booked it for home. Luckily I knew that area very well and sort of zig-zagged through the miraculously un-flooded side streets and was so relieved to be home I beeped all the way up the driveway.

jingle bitch

jingle bitch

Yeah, I guess I’ve grown bored and frustrated with rainy days. Rainy days are my favorite, but this is about a week past way too freaking much. I just thought I’d pop in and let you know I haven’t washed away. Yet. But I’m close to running away from home, with a red polka-dotted bandana full of peanut butter sandwiches and cats tied to a stick resting on my shoulder.

ETSY!

At long last!

Click HERE to visit my shop, or the thumbnails below for each item.

Sizzling Shisha Squares:

sizzlingshishasquaresetsygal

High Violet Shimmer Spikes:
highvioletspikesetsygal

Coral Cocktail Lite:
coralcocktailliteetsygal

Colorblast Pastel:
pasteletsygal

Peach Flames Shimmer Spikes:
peachflamesetsygal

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So, that’s that, I’m glad to have it done, I’m gonna go eat a sandwich and make some beads. And it’s kind of looking like we might be helping my step-dad find his precious calico. Thanks for having a look, I hope you like the beads!

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