fred and nelson sharing the windowsill – great shakes around here!
I’m marking things off the to-do list, and unfortunately, blogging hasn’t been one of them. Apologies for the long silence. I can’t believe I remembered my WP password. Over these last few weeks, I’ve almost posted (said) something, but didn’t. This has apparently become a habit in my real life so much so that it’s spilled over into the blogging/business end of things. I honestly felt that since I couldn’t keep it light, I probably shouldn’t bother.
In the meantime, I was probably on the phone or listening to someone else on a different phone talk about their problems, or blocking the menagerie of intolerable nonsense that keeps trying to be shoved down my throat. There seems to be a never ending font of it. I’m happy to lend an ear to the valid problems, but the intolerable nonsense gets dealt with swiftly and with one simple word: NO. If you say it often enough and passionately enough and if you actually MEAN it, the intolerable nonsense people will eventually give up. Hopefully before you have to call the cops on them. No, I haven’t needed to call the cops on anyone. I’m just saying.
I think at some point in every adult’s life, priorities must be rearranged to accomodate even the most unwanted impositions and annoyances, and that by a certain age you’re no longer allowed to hide from them. I believe I’ve officially reached that age. I remember being totally disconnected from my family and working 14 hours a day, only five short years ago. I’m missing those days desperately in an admittedly selfish way. Things are drastically different now: my parents divorced (which is probably news to most of you, and one of the major things I’ve been dealing with and remaining tight-lipped about for so long) and there’s a teenager in my house full time. Among other things, but those are the top two at the moment.
Step-parenting is cramping my style in a big way. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s bearable and sometimes it’s awful. DUH, right? I didn’t have my own children for a reason. Who in their right mind would want this sort of daily hassle? I’ve tried to make the best of it, but it’s making me feel crazy. I’m losing things, forgetting things and I think it’s because I’m so distracted by trying to train a wild animal. I can’t care as much about where I put my grocery list when a beast is about to soak every bath towel in the house and leave them in a steaming moldy pile on the furniture. I’m not so good at nagging, and whether or not you nag on a daily basis, beasts conveniently “forget” what is expected of them. I am nobody’s maid, so nagging it must be. Parents of teenagers – you know, and if you care enough to be a complete tyrant when it’s necessary, you definitely know. There are many hats, I’ve found. There’s the “fascist” hat, the “not worth the fight” hat, the “kid, you’re great” hat… and I have to keep reminding myself that a basically wild teenager was unceremoniously dumped into our laps for repair and there’s no way on earth this can go smoothly 100 percent of the time. I have to remember that, no matter what anyone says, it is partly my responsibility to turn a needy confused child who can’t take care of herself into a self-sufficient, confident adult. If I’m not confident in my parenting skills, how in the hell am I supposed to do this? It might just be easier to finish off that half-bottle of Beefeater in the fridge to help me get my day going. Alas, I continue to resist.
The good news is, we have made excellent progress. While Spawn was basically wild, she is also basically good. She really does try most of the time, but she wouldn’t be normal if she didn’t pull some good ol’ teenaged monkeyshines now and then. Since she officially moved in in March, she has obtained her GED and a full time job as a receptionist. This is a job with lots of responsibility, certainly more than I could handle. And still, I find myself undeniably impatient with the minutiae of dirty dishes, wet towels, shoes in every room and various messes. A lot of this stress I feel has come from figuring out where the battles are and choosing them wisely. My husband has been wonderful and present and doing his best to keep me from pulling out clumps of my own hair. I’m trying to do the same for him. If we didn’t care and respect each other as much as we do, I’d likely be searching for a new address right about now.
This has all put blogging or any sort of fun on the back burner, but I actually have gotten a lot of work done and am planning a big Superstars sale next week. One work/fun thing I did was make a necklace for mom for mother’s day. It was late because I had to mail-order the size 8/0 and 11/0 white AB seed beads. I couldn’t believe the local shops didn’t have those!
the beads for the earrings are coming, mom, I promise!
Thanks so much for checking in. You’ll be hearing from me real soon if you’re on the Superstars mailing list!
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