I do go on, don’t I? And on and on… and on. Then I get concerned emails. It’s the nature of being honest about my feelings. My feelings, waaah.
Really guys. I’ve got this. Punk Rock Sarah, lest you forget. Nobody’s victim, even when I am. Flying under the radar, waiting for the other shoe to drop… and I still manage to melt rainbows and bang on silver and feed cats and help Mom plug stuff into the wall and smile at whoever needs to be smiled at. Those first 5 blissfully unaware seconds after waking up are what get me through a day full of coming to terms with life’s rich trainwreck. Shattered illusions and like totally slicing my finger open on my canned dinner… pee-shaw. When I start sounding like I sounded in my last entry it means I’m ready to get real and cause some better things to happen. Life is short. The world is mean. If you can’t be kind, then, well, I don’t know, get outta my face.
I shall close my eyes and thunk my giant shoes together and say three things:
I will not crawl out of my own skin.
My “sanity” will rub off onto whoever needs it worse than I do.
I’ll pull my chestnuts out of the fire just in time.
Anyway. I went to Gordman’s* on Valentine’s Day and while I was there it became clear that I missed my calling as a perfume salesperson. I saw a hard working guy in a worn leather jacket and cowboy hat who was obviously shopping for a last minute gift for his lady. Poor dude was looking mighty out of his element in the narrow aisles. Another shopper and I both approached him. The other lady immediately suggested Viva La Juicy, without knowing the age or tastes of this potentially touched but disappointed woman. I asked how old his lady was (he said she was 40) and what other perfume she liked and how much he wanted to spend. He said money wasn’t an issue, he wasn’t sure what she’d like, she had a bottle of something called Luna and he described what it looked like. Luna didn’t ring any bells, so I asked if he would consider it a “sweet” perfume. He said yes, and I said Juicy might work… although personally, I find anything Juicy abhorrent, and would recommend that for a teenager before I’d recommend it for a woman who has had a chance to develop a preference.
So I sprayed a bit of Calvin Klein’s Euphoria into the lid of one of the boxes. He was kind of “meh” and then I held the bottle of Thierry Mugler’s Angel EDP out to him and told him to sniff the nozzle. He looked vaguely interested so I sprayed it into the lid of one of the boxes, and you guys, you should have seen his eyes light up. I knew that would happen. Men LOVE Angel. I don’t know why, but they love it and even if you don’t you should wear it anyway because it drives them bonkers. I know that when a man likes a perfume more than I do, I’ll wear it to see that look on his face. But I loves me some Angel so no problem there…
I haven’t just been taking selfies in my funky bathroom all week… I made all of this!:
And I made this special for a client:
The beast (me) is hungry. I’m gonna go jazzercise and then ferociously tear into some egg salad and zesty bread & butter pickles. I’d show you a picture of that too, but this ain’t fakebook.
Check you bead ninjas later!