Superstars TONIGHT!

Hey bead homies, tonight’s the night!

I think the internet might be taking a piddle in the midst of my sale. I’m not sure all my notifications are reaching everyone since about half of them aren’t being returned to my inbox like they usually are. Who knows, maybe it wouldn’t kill me to start using my gmail account. The main z-beads email has been around a long while and I’m not sure how reliable yahoo mail is anymore. I guess we’ll see, I’ll give it some time before I get too lathered up. It’s the internet after all, and we know what that’s like. If you feel like your requests or emails aren’t reaching me, feel free to message me through Etsy’s convo system. Here’s a link to my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/zbeads

Here’s a glimmer of what’s coming up:

come see us and our friends at the sale tonight. click us to get right on over there!

The Superstars schedule:

7:30PM CENTRAL TIME: The new beads will appear on this page for the sale preview. Take this 30 minutes to read and decide what you want, and email me with any questions.

8PM CENTRAL TIME and beyond: Start sending in your requests via email. 

If you’re unsure of where your time zone falls in this scenario, google it!

See you tonight! You should see 12 selections when the sale preview goes live.

Go here: http://www.z-beads.com/workingfolder/superstars.html

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Whistling past the graveyard

Not scared, not scared, not scared…

I turn these

…

into these

…

with this contraption

So there you have it, folks: the proof that the rainbows didn’t come out of my ass.

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And also… SUPERSTARS THIS THURSDAY! May 26th, 8PM Central Time, with a 30 minute sale preview at 7:30PM Central Time. Check out  my website, http://www.z-beads.com and click on the Superstars link for more info.

One more thing I couldn’t resist:

Thanks for checking in… see you again Thursday.

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Sh*t my mom says (Belated Happy Mothers Day!)

I’ve said it before: I fell out of my momma’s ass butt-first and two weeks late, so it’s no far stretch that my mother’s day post would happen belatedly as well.

Here you go, sweet, kind, demure wallflower of a lady, have a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

photo courtesy of avasflowers.net

For MY mother, on the other hand, here’s something more befitting:

Aleister Crowley

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Here are just a few of my favorite Mom quotes:

“If you (insert dumb behavior here), your life would be sucky, f*cky and not worth two bucky.”

In response to an archaically sexist comment: “What corner of your 15th century ass did you pull that one out of?”

“I’m not bitter, I’m a smart ass.”

“Buttlickers.”

“The best way to ruin a perfectly good relationship is to get married.”

In response to a telemarketer/scammer telling her answering machine they’d be in her neighborhood: “Well, I’ll be sure to hang my bare ass out the window for you.”

While we were driving past a long-standing grimy convenience store, our exchange went something like this:
mom: How does a place like that stay open for so many years?
me: It’s probably a front for Uncle Whoever’s whatevers.
mom: …or Uncle Whatever’s whoevers.

Happy Mothers Day, Mom! I couldn’t have hand-picked a better mother.

 

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